Sermon on May 10, 2026
“Loneliness”
By: Mae Barnes, lay preacher
Loneliness is haunting our society. We all are aware of it from time to time, but never has loneliness been so powerful and so dangerous. Truth be told, the fear of loneliness is a very old fear. So advanced are we, living in an age of endless information and boundless communication, that we keep on trying to come up with new and exciting ways to defeat that specter, yet it feels as if the specter only gets stronger with each passing day. Despite our best efforts, we have only strengthened its grip on us to the point that we have only recently had to admit we even have a problem.
Loneliness is more than simply the feeling of isolation, or of being alone. It is a feeling one can have even when surrounded by a crowd. What good are masses of people if nobody can see you? The papers declare that we are in a male loneliness crisis, but loneliness is not isolated to simply men. Studies have proven that regardless of sex or gender, everyone reports that they are lonelier than ever before.
According to a study from the Harvard School of Education1, young adults and middle-aged folks, who one might label as Millennials and Gen Z, are reporting debilitating loneliness at the highest rates among other cohorts. Loneliness is also most prevalent among those making under $30,000/y, which makes sense; poverty tends to make one isolated, and our society has made being in public and taking part in public life a very costly affair. There are many things that respondents stated were the primary contributors to their loneliness. Chief among those reasons was technology, but very close to that were people being overworked and tired, unable to spend the time they did have with family, living in an individualistic society, and mental health. All the way at the end of the list, though, and relevant to our purposes here, respondents cited a lack of a spiritual life.
All of these are very valid reasons, mind you. The ones that probably would be outsized, at least to my mind, would be the problem of being overworked, underpaid, and isolated from community and family. We have built a world that has done everything in its power to alienate us from the real work that it takes to make a society function. We live near the San Francisco Bay Area, home of Silicon Valley. The tech and financial giants that lumber noiselessly on the horizon are also home to some of the most exploitative companies in the world, timewise. There is a glorification in the business world of long hours in the office, doing the work that makes the money flow. With the back-to-the-office push post-pandemic, most of our days are often taken up with being either in the office or in traffic, with barely any time for family or friends. The risk of poverty also keeps us isolated, keeps us working, keeps us away from the people that make us feel alive and human. We are too busy trying to survive that we forget what makes us alive. In the face of such overwhelming odds and such oppressive forces, how can we break out of our loneliness?
Paul, on the Areopagus, tells the Athenians that among their idols, there is one made in honor of an unknown God. That God, he tells them, is the one that he worships. That God who fashioned the heavens and the earth, the one who set the stars in motion and the seas in their churn, that is his God, and He has always been with them, even when they did not know him. He assures them that they need never fear separation from the divine; God dwells amongst them, and loves them.
Peter, in his exhortation, tells the church not to fear or be intimidated by the empire that threatens them. He tells them to be ready and to be blameless before them. It’s better to be killed for doing the right thing than to be killed for doing wrong. And even so, you should be ready to make a defense for your faith in Christ. Underneath all of these proclamations lies the meaning of the letter: to assure them that they are not alone, and that they won’t face anything that Jesus didn’t face first. That they are in good company, and they will never be alone.
And finally, in the gospel, Jesus speaks to the disciples that, though he is going away for a while, He will send us an Advocate, the Holy Spirit, to help us when we are in need. That as long as we keep the faith, as long as we follow his teachings, Jesus will never be far away. He assures them that “those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.”
In all of these texts, assurance is given that God, in Jesus Christ, is never that far away. The Holy Spirit was sent to dwell among us to empower us and to help us come together in community. Indeed, we ought never feel truly lonely, isolated, or alone, because in those moments when we are at our lowest, we are never truly alone. God will send an Advocate in our moment of need to shield us and to guide us into truth, hope, and community.
For those among you who may laugh at this, who think that these are empty platitudes, and that nothing can break the chains of loneliness, I assure you, I can speak about loneliness all too well.
If you do not know me or my story, you may wonder why I am even at this pulpit this morning. You see, in a former life, I was quite different. I was a United Methodist pastor in deep East Texas. Then, on this very week in 2018, exactly 8 years ago, I left that life behind to pursue my PhD. I will spare you the details of how that happened and why, but suffice it to say, when we hauled all six of our animals halfway across the country to live in a state I had never lived in before, you can imagine how much loneliness that left us with.
Loneliness is miserable. Loneliness can make us desperate and even irrational. It can magnify our insecurities and keep us from reaching out. I will admit, it can be difficult to reach out when you know nobody and feel like nobody would welcome you. You start to imagine potential scenarios of what you fear might happen, when in truth, it might actually turn out better than you think.
When I first came here, I had a different name. I am transgender, if you haven’t caught on. The old name and identity didn’t suit me anymore, and I found another one. I transitioned, and I found a mode of expression and an identity that fit me better. Rather, I feel more like I am now the person I should have been all along. I’m happier, and I am more authentic now than I ever was before. But with transition comes risk. Being openly trans in this country right now is not safe. Being authentically Mae introduces an element of risk, alongside a possibility of rejection, even hatred. But I decided that it was worth the risk to be myself, even if people didn’t understand it or even hated it. Which brings me to the present.
When DeSay and I started coming to this church more regularly, we made a pact that we would search out avenues where we could get involved. We were tired of sitting on the sidelines. We were tired of feeling lost, unmoored, untethered to a community. And so, DeSay, being the braver of us, got involved with STEAC, the kids’ pack ministry. I volunteered alongside her, and soon, we got to know a few of you. We started going to Sunday services, and DeSay also got involved with DCMH on Thursdays.
Then, when we found out about the confirmation classes starting last fall, I got the opportunity to get more involved and get to know more of you.
Things have obviously snowballed. Now, DeSay is on the Social Justice and Outreach team, and I volunteered for the Vestry. We both have grown into this community, but that was because you all were ready to welcome us in.
And so, on the 8th anniversary of a very painful moment in our history, when I left the ministry, what else would happen? Monday, Rev. Pamela shot me an email. I had expressed several months ago that I would be interested in preaching if given the opportunity. Well, wouldn’t you know it, an opening happened in the preaching rotation. She asked me to preach. I said yes, and then looked at the lectionary readings, and promptly burst into laughter.
These scriptures, these assurances, were there to remind me of the resilient and sometimes annoyingly persistent grace of God. Paul, on the Areopagus, preached about the unknown God. Peter encouraged us to always be ready. And of course, Jesus, who assures us that we will never be without Him and the Holy Spirit. Here I am, after 8 years of loneliness and feeling like I had lost my purpose and direction, feeling like I was alone in this world, here to tell you that when it comes to the Holy Spirit, there are no coincidences. Friends, I was not in a good place emotionally when that message came. I had felt stuck, abandoned, and yes, alone. But the Spirit moves, and it is always there when you need it. Just like the gospel said they would, the advocate, the Spirit of truth, arrived right on time.
Your loneliness is never too great, too isolating, to sever you from God’s presence. Your pain, your fear, none of it is more powerful than the Spirit, if you are truly open to its presence. Loneliness is powerful, yes. I never want to discount or disregard anyone’s pain or experience with loneliness. This world is doing everything to keep us afraid, to keep us isolated and alienated, to keep us lonely, because lonely people are easier to control, easier to predict.
However, people are never stronger than when they are bonded by community. Alone, we might be stopped, held captive by greater powers. But no power is greater than the bond of solidarity and love. No force in this world is more powerful than a community emboldened by the Spirit of Truth. And nobody is beyond saving. Nobody is beyond help. Nobody is too broken, too isolated, too lonely to resist an open hand, welcoming them into something better. A community that is open to everyone, bonded by love, can and will overcome anything, and no societal ill or tactic devised by the fell powers can withstand it.
You are not beyond God’s love. You are never without Jesus’s guidance. You are not beyond the Spirit’s reach. Keep this assurance with you: Blessed be God, who has not rejected your prayer, nor withheld his love from you. Amen.
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