Surviving a Family Member’s Suicide 

Article by Lynn Zender 

Today we are going to talk about when a family member or friend commits suicide.

Talking about someone who has completed a suicide is a hard thing to do.  All sorts of things may get in the way: sadness, pride, embarrassment, anger, guilt, need for privacy—the list goes on and on.  It is hard to get past that first stage of beginning to talk about it. And, getting past that first stage is the thing we may mostly need to do—in our own time and in our own way.

What could we do? How do we cope?  Probably bottling it up inside is not going to work well.

Sometimes it is easier to talk with family or friends. Sometimes it is easier to talk with someone you do not know.   Once you figure out who to talk with, steel yourself and do it.  People are willing to listen.

Here are some resources for you: If someone you know has committed suicide and you want to talk with someone, call Suicide Loss Support Group (Yolo) 530-756-7542  (calling this

number will get you hooked up with this support group)

Friends for Survival (Sacramento) 916-392-0664 (they will call you back if you leave a message).

The below is something pulled from the website of Friends for Survival in Sacramento:

SUICIDE SURVIVOR’S BILL OF RIGHTS

• • I have the right to be free of guilt.
  • I have the right not to feel responsible for the suicide death.
  • I have the right to express my feelings and emotions, even if they do not seem acceptable, as long as they do not interfere with the rights of others. I have the right to have my questions answered by authorities and family members.
  • I have the right not to be deceived because others feel they can spare me further grief.
  • I have the right to maintain a sense of hopefulness.
  • I have the right to peace and dignity.
  • I have the right to positive feelings about the one I lost through suicide, regardless of the events prior to or at the time of the death.
  • I have the right to retain my individuality and not be judged because of the suicide death.
  • I have the right to seek counseling and a support group to enable me to explore my feelings to further the acceptance process.
  • I have the right to reach acceptance.
  • I have the right to a new beginning.
  • I have the right to be.

Source: JoAnn C. Mecca Suicide Bereavement Center for Inner Growth and Wholeness, Inc.)